As I sit here in the kitchen...

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

I get bored often. Saturday was a boring day for me, so, as I often do when bored, I retreated to the kitchen. I wasn't feeling all that hungry, but the boredom was strong enough to pull me towards the oven. I had a lot of old food that I needed to get rid of - things I feared would turn foul if I let them stay in my pantry one minute more. There was a particular item in the pantry that I felt calling out to me. This lonely soul had been sitting under boxes of tea and macaroni for far too long. It appeared I would be cooking myself some tuna.

I didn't exactly know what to do with the tuna. I knew I wanted to cook. I didn't want to simply throw the tuna in a salad or a trashcan. I needed to get my creative juices flowing so I pulled out a teflon skillet. I know that teflon has been under some real heat lately for being potentially toxic. I'm a daring guy so I decided to take a risk and use it anyway.

I turned on the stove and threw the tuna on the skillet with some Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (or EVOO if you're a follower of Rachael "I'm the second coming of Martha" Ray). The tuna started browning - well, graying. I was not sure exactly what my next step should be. Taking a quick sweep of the refrigerator, I spotted the mayonnaise and thought it might make things interesting. Interesting, indeed. Upon hitting the skillet, the mayonnaise started a beautiful dance with the small bits of once-gigantic fish (see picture). This game of footsy turned into a lovely tuna paste of sorts - a beautiful thing.

I could have called it quits right then, seeing as I had a lovely tuna paste simmering in my skillet. Something told me I was not yet finished. There was another lost soul calling out from the cabinet - cream corn. [Cream corn? Really?] Yes. Really. I discovered that tuna and corn blend delightfully. The cream corn picked up the dance where the fish bits and processed egg whites left off, whipping the whole dance floor [read: skillet] into a frenzy.

So here I had this gorgeous tunacorn pasty thing. Now what the heck to do with it?

Wrap it.

Wraps are quite delicious, I suggest you add them to your diet.

Appletini's Gorgeous Tunacorn Pasty Thing
-1 can chunk-light tuna
-1/4 can cream corn
-2 tbsp. mayonnaise
-app. 2 tsp. EVOO (just eyeball it)

Directions: Go crazy.